Author Archives: Coach Donna Marie

Coach Donna Marie | Mental Wellness Coach Using the PQ Coaching System | Helping women leaders over 40 with tough life and relationship transitions, such as divorce and empty nesting, with creating lasting transformation | Reduce stress and confidently reclaim your life, love, and joy | Request a free clarity call at https://coachdonnamarie.com/scheduling

How Do You Define Strong As A Woman of Color?

Plant Your Seeds of Transformation Season 4 Episode 5: How Do You Define Strong As A Woman of Color? Coach Donna Marie interviewed our guest Deya B. She shared her journey through trauma recovery while pursuing her goals as a neurodivergent professional writer who has roots within East Indian culture.

The Plant Your Seeds of Transformation Podcast is Produced by Lead Like A Queen Coaching and Consulting, LLC, and Hosted by Coach Donna Marie. If you’d like to donate to support the show, please click here.

When you hear “Strong Black Woman” what images come up for you? I think of Superwoman or Wonder Woman, but I know that expecting this from myself is unrealistic. I may be strong, and I may get some things right sometimes, but I am not perfect… and I no longer strive to be perfect all of the time, either. So, at this point in my journey, the phrase “strong black woman”, is a little triggering for me because I feel that it symbolizes the toxic perfectionism that I am now staying away from so that I can be healthier and happier.

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Episode 5 of Season 4 features our guest Deya B. This professional writer has been noticed by the leaders at Medium who invited her to speak at their annual Medium Day virtual conference for writers. She was amazing, and Coach Donna Marie knew she would be a great fit to speak to similar topics that we’re already covering here on The Plant Your Seeds of Transformation podcast. Listen to hear our guest Deya as she shares her journey through trauma recovery while pursuing her goals as a professional writer who is neurodivergent.

Key Takeaways and Notes:

  • Perfectionism can be a cultural expectation and create unhealthy pressure based on unrealistic expectations
  • Trauma can sometimes be hard to identify, and when you do not even know it’s a problem for you, it makes it so much harder to get help.
  • Black and Brown women leaders who are goal-oriented often get bad advice from successful peers who do not have to deal with similar life realities like taking care of children, caregiving for a loved one, or the cultural expectations/pressures of their family and/or community.
  • Journaling can be a great way to process your thoughts, even if you’re not a professional writer, and can help you recognize signs of trauma so you can ask for help.
  • JOURNAL PROMPT:
    • What habits, beliefs, or traditions have you let go of or think you may need to let go of for better mental health as you pursue your life goals or career goals?
    • What goals have been interrupted by trauma or crisis that you want to pursue again? How can you approach them differently, instead of giving up on pursuing them?
    • What life dreams have you journaled about in the past that you may want to start looking at again and/or what new dreams do you want to write down now?
    • How do you define strength within your own life, and what do you need so you can get stronger in your strengths?

Contemporary life almost anywhere in the world is full of things that make us compare ourselves to others, especially those of us who engage with social media. Unfortunately, some comparisons call people with special needs and trauma survivors weak or weaker, but you do not have to accept that. You can learn how to define strength for yourself. If you choose to work on the suggested journal prompts, contact me and share your insights or feedback about the prompts.

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If you’d like to join our community on Patreon, you’ll also have access to a private podcast where we’ll dig deeper into these topics and help each other keep growing and going after our dreams.

Exposing Wounds and Showing Scars: Vulnerability Is Essential to Growth After Trauma

Coach Donna Marie addresses a tough topic in this fourth episode of the fourth season of the Plant Your Seeds of Transformation podcast.

Showing scars is embarrassing, and exposing wounds is absolutely terrifying. This is why continuing as a podcaster was so hard for me this year. For my own growth, it was essential for me to get back up on the horse and face my fear. Watch or Listen to hear my perspectives on how vulnerability helps us all keep growing, especially as we continue recovering from traumas and crises. Scroll down to see my notes (aka key takeaways) for this episode.

How can black women leaders understand themselves better and make better choices so they will live more happily and have more joy in their relationships? Getting past perfectionism and being overly self-critical are keys to healing well after trauma.

~ Coach Donna Marie
exposing wounds and showing scars

Key Takeaways and Other Notes:

  • REVIEW: episode 2 about boundaries and episode 3 about resilience for important takeaways, recommended reading, journal prompts, and more to support you as you go after your goals even while recovering from traumas or crises
  • SUPPORT: click like and subscribe, turn on notifications, join the newsletter, and donate. (See the main home page for this website and scroll down to see the donation form.)
  • SHARE: If you want to share this podcast with others, use the sharing tools on this page, on YouTube, or on the podcast app you use.
  • JOURNAL PROMPTS:
    • What are your current inputs and how do they shape or affect your outputs? (Remember: use this journal prompt to be more curious and compassionate with yourself, instead of judging yourself)
    • Why are you covering your wounds and hiding your scars? Which inputs can help to heal you from the inside and which ones make you feel more self-conscious about your wounds and scars?
    • Traumas and crises do not last forever. Who will you be after the dust settles? How can your inputs help shape who you become afterwards?
    • How can you ask new questions of yourself and create new journal prompts for yourself?
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/leadlikeaqueen/episodes/Exposing-Wounds-and-Showing-Scars-Vulnerability-Is-Essential-to-Growth-After-Trauma-e285gm7
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This was episode 4 of the 4th season of Plant Your Seeds of Transformation. I’m grateful to God for sending those of you who have been watching or listening. If you’d like more support from me with learning how to use journaling as an official or more formal way to keep learning and growing so that you can achieve your goals despite past traumas or crises, join my Patreon community to access my coaching resources.

Questions or Feedback?

Use the contact form on this website to send me feedback or ask questions.

Resilience: How You Can Prepare Yourself for the Unexpected

Coach Donna Marie is the host of the Plant Your Seeds of Transformation podcast where we discuss how black women leaders can understand themselves better and make better choices so that they will live more happily and have more joy in all of their relationships.

This is the 3rd episode of the 4th season of the Plant Your Seeds of Transformation Podcast. You will be challenged to define what resilience is for yourself and to think about how to prepare yourself for the unexpected so you can bounce back more effectively. Coach Donna Marie continues the conversation about what can help you survive and thrive after recovering from traumas and crises. And again, she reminds you that perfectionism is counter-productive and even destructive to this process of trauma recovery.

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Key Take Away Points May Include:

  • What is resilience and what can that look like for you?
    • Definition 1 of Resilience: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change;
    • Definition 2 of Resilience: the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress
    • Which definition resonates with you most?
  • JOURNAL PROMPT: When thinking about what resilience is, how do you see yourself and what you’ve been through compared to these definitions? Create your own definition of what resilience looks like for you.
  • How can journaling help you cultivate better resilience?
    • Developing more self-awareness means that you listen to your own heart better instead of just relying on what others tell you about yourself.
      • It’s possible that as you build more self-awareness, you’ll discover that you need therapeutic support with dealing with things from the past that may be blocking your forward progress. There’s no shame in needing or wanting therapy. (See this previous episode that talks about therapy more.)
    • Journaling can help you develop your self-awareness more by helping you to visually see your thoughts, not for the purpose of judging yourself, but for understanding yourself more. I suggested reading in episode 2 that can help you with being more compassionate towards yourself.
  • Practical steps to creating a journaling practice that promotes resilience
    • 1. Set your intentions to use journaling as a regular practice, and not to just look at your pretty journal sitting on the table/shelf every once in a while.
    • 2. Journal at the same time every day (or week) – engaging in co-working is one great way to develop a consistent schedule.
    • 3. Use a dedicated journal just for this specific goal of recovering from trauma/crisis (make it fit the aesthetic that pleases your eyes and/or your senses)
      • It could be audio – video journal.
      • It could be a pretty frilly journal book that includes a textured cover, like glitter or fuzz (if it doesn’t have it, get out your arts and crafts and make it look like you want)
      • It could be in your notes app in your phone… but if so, make sure you organize any digital notes or journaling apps into folders or use tags so you can locate your entries when you want/need to review them

How Can I Support You Beyond This Podcast?

If you have a question, want to participate in co-working sessions, or want to grab a spot in group coaching, you can learn more and reach out in the following ways:

How Can You Support The Show?

  • Click Here and Scroll Down to Visit the Donation Area on the home page
  • Become a Patreon Member (and get a co-working journal at a higher tier level)
  • Subscribe, like, share, leave a comment and/or review
  • Buy A Journal, Planner, or Book Published by Coach Donna Marie. Click Here To Visit Store.
A Journal Is Included in This Book for Aspiring Leaders and Entrepreneurs – Buy Signed Copy (click here)

Conclusion

How has your perspective about resilience changed by watching or listening to this episode? If you’d like to share with me, use the contact form to reach out. For your own sake, please take the time to answer the journal prompt and use it as a way to support yourself with your journey towards fulfilling your goals while you are recovering from traumas and/or crises.